Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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