I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
