You're completely useless in the revolution.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
