it was like his penis was on wheels.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
