Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
