Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
