I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Randomize
