i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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