You can't special order awesome
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I see more hoeing in ur future
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