You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
