it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
PANTIES FOUND
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