what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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