are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
