He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
