i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
