I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
