I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
