I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
