I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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