she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
