I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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