I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
