I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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