I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
