North Korea, Best Korea!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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