sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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