I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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