I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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