I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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