you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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