i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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