when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
