Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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