He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
