Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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