you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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