Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
