Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We have started to decorate penises.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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