I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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