And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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