I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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