I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
