Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
