I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
