btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
