about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You've changed since you got that strap on
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
