Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
