Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
