never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
