hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
